Perhaps the most misunderstood, mis-quoted, maligned and mistakenly hated piece of legislation in the history of America is the USA PATRIOT Act (Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism -- you just have to love government acronyms). Mentioning it within earshot of most Liberals (without the requisite sneer) has the same effect as waving a piece of raw steak in front of hungry, rabid pit bulls... they tend to eat the steak starting at your shoulder.  This makes it abnormally difficult to find out just why Liberals hate it (the Act, not the steak -- vegetarianism is still a mystery to me) so much.  Perhaps the most amusing part of President Bush's 2004 State of the Union Address was when he said, "Key provisions of the Patriot Act are set to expire next year..." (wild applause from Democrats)  "The terrorist threat will not expire on that schedule." (sheepish looks from Democrats, applause from Republicans)  Wearing a full suit of armor and wielding a big stick, however, you just might be able to get some answers to the question, "Why do you hate the PATRIOT Act?" 

The most common intelligible reasons for hating the Patriot Act are, "it destroys our freedoms, especially freedom of speech", "it takes away our right to privacy", "it squashes our right to oppose the government" and "it makes people afraid to speak against the government".  I've been over the text of the Act, and it's just not clear where these things occur. No one has been able to point it out, either; they speak vaguely of "a climate of fear" and "a chill wind" that silence them (anyone but me see the irony here?). Keep in mind that no abuse of anyone's rights by the PATRIOT Act has yet been proven, though (to be fair) 34 of the allegations of violations made in connection with the Act were deemed credible enough to be investigated. None of them, however, have yet turned out to be examples of civil rights trampled savagely upon by the Act itself.

I can't speak to the random, nameless fears of Liberals, but the Patriot Act merely allows law enforcement agents to use the same tools for terrorism investigations that are already available to drug, organised crime and serial/mass murder investigators.  In a sense, isn't that exactly what terrorism is in law enforcement terms: organised mass murder partially fueled by drug money?  Is that the "right to oppose the government" the complainers are afraid of losing?  The investigative methods that have been used for years in those other areas should come into play in terrorism cases. Keep in mind that all law enforcement agents must have a signed warrant, to protect the rights of the subjects of investigation.  Especially that "privacy right" Liberal judges claim to have detected hidden in the Fourth Amendment, which says in part, "no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause". Given that probable cause must be shown, no aspect of the PATRIOT Act violates the rights of any law-abiding citizen. So, what aspects of the Act do Liberals seem to hate the most?

Roving Wiretaps: Instead of being allowed to tap just one phone at a time, agents can tap any phone the subject uses. Isn't that simple logic, in the cellphone era? Terrorists, like sophisticated tech-savvy criminals and flighty teenagers, change locations and phones frequently.

Shared Information: All law enforcement agencies are supposed to share information about terrorism investigations with each other, the same way they do for the other investigations. Isn't the lack of information-sharing one of the things that led to 9/11?  Three of the hijackers were stopped for traffic violations shortly before 9/11. If only the cops had known they were al-Qaeda members on the CIA Watch List, the 9/11 plot just might have unraveled. NOTE: This will, however, ruin the plot of any Hollywood movie where the unlikely, mismatched buddy cops stumble into the middle of a Federal terrorism investigation and are forced to turn in their badges before cooperating to solve the crime themselves.  That's probably the real reason the Left Coast is so unhinged about the PATRIOT Act, come to think of it. That, and the word "patriot", which gives Limousine Liberals the shivering fits.

Delayed Notification: Nothing made terrorists feel safer than knowing that they would be notified of any search warrants being executed. Nothing made investigators feel more stupid, either. By the time investigators identified other members of the terrorist cell, they'd mysteriously vanish. Imagine that! Law enforcement agencies don't generally give polite notice before searching the homes of garden-variety criminals, so why should suspected terrorists get the kid glove treatment?

Business Records: If someone who's already being investigated (remember, probable cause) is buying truckloads of volatile fertiliser, I think I want to know about it. Perhaps he's just setting up a massive crystal meth lab... but then again, it could be a truck bomb in the making. Either way, I'd like it checked out.

Library Records: When the Zodiac Killer finally stopped, it was because the police figured out that his murders were "inspired" by the works of an obscure Scottish poet.  They began checking library/bookstore records to see who had bought or borrowed that author. That was in 1974, and the Liberals haven't said a word in the last 30 years about the law being able to subpoena the library records of suspected serial killers.  If someone already under investigation for terrorism (probable cause again) checks out something like "Bringing Down the Great Satan: A Step-By-Step Guide for the Terrorist in You", I want someone to know before it's overdue. Despite the hysteria over this provision, however, not a single request has ever been made for library records under the PATRIOT Act so far.

Advising and Assisting Terrorists: This part, section 805(A)2B, has recently come under fire as "unconstitutional" for inserting the phrase "expert advice or assistance" after "training" in the United States Code of law, section 2339A of title 18, chapter 113b, which covers support for terrorism.  That would make the offending passage read (emphasis mine):

Definition. - In this section, the term "material support or resources" means currency or other financial securities, financial services, lodging, training, expert advice or assistance, safehouses, false documentation or identification, communications equipment, facilities, weapons, lethal substances, explosives, personnel, transportation, and other physical assets, except medicine or religious materials.

California District Judge Audrey Collins has a problem with this law.  "The USA Patriot Act places no limitation on the type of expert advice and assistance which is prohibited and instead bans the provision of all expert advice and assistance regardless of its nature," she stated. Yes, that appears to be the actual point of writing that law... to prevent any kind of assistance being given to terrorist groups except medical and religious (in case the medical advice fails, I suppose). If the judge feels that particular group shouldn't be classified as a terrorist supporting group, perhaps she ought to address that issue.

The loudest complaint against the PATRIOT Act is that it somehow silences dissent.  If that's true, then why are so many Liberals complaining so loudly about it?  You'd think they'd all be in concentration camps by now... if they were right.