SACREMENTO CA:  Earlier today, California Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger finally decided to address the issue of illegally-altered marriage licenses being issued by the Mayor of San Francisco... by agreeing with him in principle.

"Perhaps Mayor Newsom has a point," Arnold said at a press conference in Sacremento. "Perhaps it really is okay to throw away a law you don't agree with if you can claim a higher law conflicts with it.  Therefore, I am announcing that restrictions on guns in this state will no longer be in effect as of now."   An angry murmur arose in the audience, comprised mostly of reporters.  "I find that Ca-lee-fornia's overly restrictive gun laws conflict with the Second Amendment of the Constitution -- the highest law of the land -- which says that the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.  From this moment forward, guns of all types will be sold without restrictive background checks or licenses needed, following the example set by Mayor Newsom of San Francisco.  I just want to thank the Mayor for pointing out that elected officials have no responsibility to uphold any laws they don't agree with."  Red-faced, angry reporters began shouting questions, but were stunned into silence when the Governator reached under the podium and brought out a prototype Alliant Techsystems OICW rifle with two barrels.  "Something like this, which holds thirty rounds of 5.56mm and six 20mm high-explosive rounds, makes a handy personal defense weapon.  And it's even ergonomically designed!  Now everyone in Ca-lee-fornia who can afford one can own one, no questions asked."  Arnold posed at the podium, weapon at the ready.  "Any questions?"

Once the Governator's suspension of gun laws went into effect, Liberals throughout the state of California began literally spontaneously combusting from sheer outrage as gun enthusiasts from around the country jammed the stores seeking newly-deregulated weapons.  Parts of Los Angeles and San Francisco were heavily damaged by wildfires, spread by crowds of detonating left-leaning sign-wavers.  The crowds had gathered in screaming protest of Arnold's "reckless disregard for the law," as one protester yelled just before bursting into flames with a smoky "FOOF!", setting two other people and a cafe awning on fire.  Human rights groups advised protesters to make their signs out of non-flammable materials.

In Washington DC, President Bush was once again defending himself against personal attacks by Democrats at a press conference when the story broke. 

"Mr. President!" shouted a reporter. "Don't you think you'd better do something about this situation in California at once?  Liberals all over the state are spontaneously combusting!"
"Those're the same folks that called me Hitler, right?" the President asked.
"Err... well, yes," the reporter said, "but what are you going to do to help them?"
"Well, I'm gonna have to call for a committee to look into the situation out there in California," said President Bush.  "They should have some sort of recommendation in about a week or two."
"But that's too late!" demanded another intrepid member of the press. "California's Liberals will be dead in the streets by then!"
"Oh, that's a good point," said the President. "I'll have to get a committee to look into that littering problem out there, too.  That sounds like a health risk to me."

"FOOF!" said the reporter...