Entry: Iraq: Too Dangerous For Toys? Friday, February 04, 2005



The Associated Press recently reported the apparent kidnapping of an American soldier named John Adam in Iraq:  

BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) - Iraqi militants claimed in a Web statement Tuesday to have taken an American soldier hostage and threatened to behead him in 72 hours unless the Americans release Iraqi prisoners. The U.S. military said it was investigating, but the claim's authenticity could not be immediately confirmed.

The posting, on a Web site that frequently carried militants' statements, included a photo of what that statement said was an American soldier, wearing desert fatigues and seated on a concrete floor with his hands tied behind his back. The figure in the photo appeared stiff and expressionless, and the photo's authenticity could not be confirmed.

Turns out that AP fell hook, line and sinker for a hoax. It seems the terrorists had actually snatched a Cody action figure (which explains why he was "stiff and expressionless"):

A militant group's claim that it had kidnapped a U.S. soldier in Iraq and planned to behead him was suspected of being a hoax yesterday, after a California toy manufacturer said photos of the purported captive on an insurgent Web site appeared to show one of its collectible dolls.

An executive for Dragon Models USA said the soldier looked exactly like a foot-tall G.I. Joe-type doll the company manufactured for sale at U.S. bases in Kuwait.
 
Cusack said the doll appeared to be the black version of its "Cody" action figure, one of several thousand sold to U.S. military bases in Kuwait about three years ago. The dolls are minutely detailed and frequently used in dioramas of war scenes.

 But now, Cody's full story has come out:  
The Slinky betrayed us. I should have known. I never trusted him. He was an unstable character, always going back and forth, back and forth, never showing a shred of backbone. "Come, senor, I know the way to the insurgents' headquarters," he rasped. The fact that he was an Arab toy speaking with a stereotypical Spanish accent should have tipped me off. But hindsight is always 20/20. Literally. I can turn my head 360 degrees.

I only knew my men by their code names, but even in that short space of time we shared a bond that only six-inch plastic combatants can truly understand. They were my family, my brothers in petroleum-based products. One night we all melted the tips of our fingers and became plastic brothers.
 
And I led those brave action figures into the trap.

Not only have terrorists been reduced to kidnapping action figures, but two different groups have claimed responsibility for downing a British C-130 Hercules transport plane -- and both claims may be false. One group sent al-Jazeera a tape which showed a finger pressing a button, a missile flying through the air, then flaming wreckage on the ground... but no footage of an impact, or anything identifying the wreckage. The other group, Ansar al-Islam, claimed to have shot the plane down with an anti-tank missile... which couldn't possibly reach the plane's last reported altitude of 15,000 feet. The terrorists were also reduced to using victims of Down's Syndrome as suicide bombers in their vain attempt to stop the Iraqi election. That's not funny at all, but it shows us the kind of people we're dealing with, how desperate they've become in their efforts to re-enslave Iraq, and how difficult it is for them to find recruits. Real terrorist attacks are still occuring in Iraq, and will continue to do so for some time, but the enemy's power over the Iraqi people is diminishing.

As for whoever is faking terrorist attacks and kidnapping toys... we may have to send in a squad of G.I. Joes to take care of this. Or if things get really tough... Team America: World Police.

   5 comments

Angrydog
February 4, 2005   11:25 AM PST
 
When will President Bush realize that innocent toys are being abducted and disassembled simply for his actions and those of the United States of America? Help stop the insanity. Write a letter to our President asking that he cease military action on Iraq, so to put an end to the heinous crimes being committed to unsuspecting toys such as "Cody."
Jamie
February 5, 2005   03:17 PM PST
 
I've heard horror stories about how they are forcing Barbie and Skipper to wear burkas.
colin hodge
February 6, 2005   02:40 AM PST
 
Check out this Aljeera article - a rescue mission is being planned!
http://www.cornellreview.org/viewart.cgi?num=452
Psychic Ferret
February 7, 2005   09:29 AM PST
 
Those damned Slinkies - no backbone.
Mad heron
March 13, 2005   04:55 PM PST
 
Hey these nuts are holding GI JOE hostage dose it mean something? maybe its time for HE-MAN to he on his guard

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