11. The U.S. Military...
a. exists to protect America from harm, as aggressively as necessary. They're all heroes.
b. is too powerful; any use of America's overwhelming military might is unfair.
c. is accurately portrayed in movies like Oliver Stone's "Platoon" as a bunch of swaggering testosterone-drunk bullies, just aching to murder foreigners.
12. Osama bin Laden...
a. sits in a hidden cave issuing threats. It's just as important to dismantle his organisation as it is to find him... maybe more so. He doesn't carry out operations himself, you know.
b. is the most important member of al-Qaeda and our only legitimate enemy. Once we've captured him this "War on Terror" should be over, and we can stop being so aggressive and other countries won't hate us.
c. is only practicing his faith; it's unfair to keep harassing him this way. Try seeing the world from his point of view before you go around trying to kill him!
13. The Democratic Presidential hopefuls...
a. are mostly a joke. All they do is bash Bush like a bunch of angry children... not a thought or plan among them, except to raise our taxes some more. Who are they again?
b. will hopefully win the election, if they can come up with some really good platforms. Who are they again?
c. HAVE to win in 2004, no matter who ends up getting the nomination or what his ideas are. Who cares who they are, as long as they beat Bush?
14. The Democratic Party leaders...
a. were calling for the removal of Saddam Hussein five years ago based on Saddam's known weapons of mass destruction, humanitarian crimes, violation of UN resolutions and support of terrorism. They are the lowest of hypocrites for attacking the President (after the fact, of course, and after voting in favor of military action) just for political gain.
b. are finally making their voices heard in a Republican-dominated Washington.
c. should openly revolt and force Bush out of power, at gunpoint if necessary!
15. Filibustering judicial nominees...
a. is an attempt by the Democrats to hijack the Constitutional process. The same hypocrites that vehemently opposed the mere threat of filibustering Clinton's nominees are now leading the fake two-year filibuster on Bush's. The Constitution does not support them; their actions violate it. Is it even legal to block a nominee from even being voted on just because you're afraid you might lose? That's called democracy.
b. is acceptable, if the Senators really feel that the nominee is unqualified.
c. is acceptable, if the nominee is a Conservative right-winger nominated by a Republican.
16. Hillary Clinton...
a. became a partner in her law firm only because her husband got elected Governor, and became a Senator only because her husband got elected President. She has no actual qualifications to hold any office, yet some people are so star-struck they want her to run for President? At least Arnold had experience owning and managing his own companies before running for Governor!
b. should run for President, because it would be great to have a woman President!
c. should run for President, because she might get enough votes to beat Bush!
17. Iran...
a. is harboring and supporting terrorists (especially Saad bin Laden, who they said they expelled last year), and certainly seems to be on the verge of building a nuclear bomb. If they don't prove to the IAEA by 31 October 2003 that they aren't... they're in serious trouble. (And they can look east and west to find out what "serious trouble" means.)
b. is in danger of incurring the wrath of the United Nations, which will almost certainly issue resolutions and sanctions to teach them they should cooperate!
c. is sure to be the next country illegally invaded by Bush, when they are doing nothing to deserve it any more than Iraq or Afghanistan were.
18. Conservative talk radio hosts...
a. are entertainers who exhort people to think for themselves instead of blindly obeying politicians and media elites spouting messages of gloom, doom and fear. They often point out inconsistencies, shading and outright lies in media stories, which is why they're hated by the Left.
b. are mean, inhuman people who rant in front of millions of brainwashed followers, just like Hitler.
c. are dangerous because so many people listen to them... and people are merely sheep who NEED a shepherd. If we don't make them stop preaching their evil messages of disobedience and anti-political correctness, people will run wild, offending each other and voting Republican! They have to be silenced.
19. Gun ownership...
a. is a right of all responsible, law-abiding free Americans, protected by the Second Amendment. Non-law-abiding people will get them no matter what the law says.
b. should be restricted so that only people who really demonstrate a need for them should be able to get them.
c. should be stopped! The only kind of people who own guns also drink beer and watch NASCAR, for crying out loud... and who wants a bunch of drunk, testosterone-soused redneck bullies running around waving guns? The unwashed masses are too stupid to own guns. People need to be protected from themselves.
20. Cuba...
a. is an oppressive totalitarian Communist regime guilty of violating human rights, which people risk death daily to escape. We need to push for democracy for the Cuban people.
b. is a shining example of a Communist country that works, to counterbalance the oppressive Captalism of the USA. They have no unemployment, and no poverty!
c. is run by a great, wise, benevolent leader, and all the people adore him and are blissfully happy. No, I've never been there, but that's what celebrities like Oliver Stone, Ed Asner and Danny Glover say, and THEY have.
So, how did you score?
Mostly a's: No, you're no Liberal. You're a fine human being with a good grasp of the issues. Make sure you vote next November!
Mostly b's: Yes, You're a Liberal, but there's hope for you. You can be reasoned with. You need to get over the brainwashing you've undergone at school and by the Liberal media, and start thinking for yourself.
Mostly c's (or, you're utterly brainwashed): If you hate this country so much, why are you here? You'd enjoy Canada or France, or perhaps Cuba or North Korea MUCH more, I'm thinking, and create a job vacancy for a REAL American by your absence.
BONUS: If you refused to take this test because tests are inherently unfair... then you, my friend, are definitely a Liberal.
Take Part 1 and Part 3 of this test for the full effect. By the way, the "c" answers were all paraphrased from actual arguments I've had, mostly online. The other side, of course.