Dr. Bill Bennett, host of the nationally-syndicated radio talk show "Morning in America" (also former Secretary of Education under Ronald Reagan and "drug czar" under George H. W. Bush), is running a song-writing contest. The subject: Sandy Berger's theft and destruction of documents from the National Archives under the guise of helping Bill Clinton prepare for his testimony before the 9/11 Commission. Berger was merely fined a trifling amount and his security clearance was revoked for a short time. The following was my entry. No, I'm not giving up my day job. 

The Ballad of Sandy Berger *

Come and listen to my tale about a sneaky little crime,
The perpetrator didn't do a single day of time.
When documents went missing from the Archive in DC,
It turned out they were stolen by a man they call Sandy.

Berger, that is.
Security Advisor.
Democratic star.

The moment that the story broke it went right off the air.
Bill Clinton told the media "hey, move away from there!"
We'll never know just what he tucked inside his pants, you see,
Or what the records would have done to Clinton's legacy.

History, that is.
Covering up mistakes.
Avoiding prosecution.

Now it's time to lay the blame for what ol' Sandy did.
Anyone who steals the past from us should be forbid
From ever getting clearance back for that locality
And should in fact be living in a penitentiary.

Federal, that is.
Stay a spell.
Make some new "friends."
Don't come out now, y'hear?

* sung to the tune of The Ballad of Jed Clampett, from the tv show "The Beverly Hillbillies"